Thursday, 15 March 2012

In Farmer Bill's back yard

Pigs grunt
Cows moo
Frogs croak
Doves coo

Sheep baa
Birds sing
Bees buzz
Wasps sting

Ducks quack
Cocks crow
Mice squeak
Winds blow

Branches wave
Streams run
Clouds float
In the sun

Swans glide
Fishes dart
Ponies canter
Bulls fart

Friday, 16 April 2010

Grandpa's teeth!

Little Jimmy went to stay with Granny and Grandpa. He always had fun when he went there. Grandpa had false teeth! Jimmy was fascinated by them because they seemed to move around in a different direction from his gums! Granny said that they’d never fitted properly and sometimes when he dozed off in his chair they fell out completely!

Well, the other morning when Jimmy came down for breakfast, Grandpa has lost his teeth! He was having great difficulty chewing his toast and had to dip it in his cup of tea to make it soft enough to swallow!

On the table was a new pack of Jimmy’s favourite breakfast cereal, Chocolate Puffs which Jimmy always called rabbit droppings! There was a big bright splash on the box which said ‘Surprise Gift Inside’ so Jimmy plunged his hand into the cereal to dig it out.
Suddenly he yelped! ‘Ouch’ he shrieked, and when he pulled his hand out Grandpa’s set of false teeth were attached to his middle finger. Jimmy shook his hand and the teeth flew across the room then bounced off the wall and fell to the floor.

‘There they are’ said Grandpa with a huge gummy grin on his face. He bent down to pick them up and suddenly they started to scurry across the carpet. Jimmy, Granny and Grandpa’s eyes popped out! The teeth were alive. Casper the cat looked on terrified. As the teeth rat-a-tatted towards him he turned round and fled, but the teeth were too quick for him and all of a sudden they shot across the floor and bit into Casper’s tail!  Casper was not impressed and he spun round and round until the teeth let go and went flying up and up and up into the air.

Jimmy, Granny and Grandpa looked up in amazement, their eyes bulging, wondering where they were going to land next! Then down and down and down they fell, straight into Grandpas open mouth! Plop!
Jimmy decided to have a boiled egg and soldiers instead of rabbit droppings. Hopefully there would be nothing unusual lurking deep inside the yolk

Thursday, 24 December 2009

It snowed today

It snowed today
Hip hip hooray
Slid down a hill
sat on a tray
Built a snowman
fingers froze
Used a carrot
for his nose

Threw a snowball
at my dad
The best-est time
I ever had
But then the snowfall
turned to rain
my snowman melted
and ran down the drain

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

James had a plan

‘Tommy, come over here’ called James waving his arms in the air. Tommy took a flying leap off the swing but landed somewhat awkwardly.

‘Ouch’ he yelled sta
nding on one leg whilst massaging his injured ankle.

‘Don’t be such a wimp’ called James ‘Just come here’

Tommy limped and hopped and stumbled until he reached the gate over which James had been calling.

‘I’ve got a plan’ said James. ‘Do you want to be part of it?’
Suddenly Tommy forgot that he was supposed to be in pain. ‘What’s your plan James?’ he said.

James leapt over the gate. He too made a bit of a mess of it, and landed on his knees! But James was a tough guy. A graze and a little bit of blood were nothing to him. After all they looked like battle scars.

He stood up, brushed the dirt from his legs, cupped his hand and whispered something very secret in Tommy’s ear.

‘Wow’ said Tommy. ‘What a great plan. Do you mean we are going to......’ And with that James clasped his hand over Tommy’s mouth.

‘It’s a secret plan silly’’ he said ‘do you really want to spoil it?’

Tommy shook his head then raised a finger to his lips. ‘It’s a secret plan’ he hissed.

The two lads set off down the road marching like soldiers. They stopped at Rupert’s door, knocked on it asked to speak to their friend.

When Rupert appeared James said ‘We have a plan Rupert! Tommy, tell him about it’.

Tommy cupped his hand and whispered something in Rupert’s ear.

‘Great’ said Rupert jumping up and down with excitement. ‘I’ll join in!’

The three of them marched off down the road.

‘Can Simon be part of the plan? said Rupert.

‘I suppose so’ said James. ‘But remember its secret’

Rupert went to find Simon and when he did he cupped his hand and whispered something in Simon’s ear. Simons face lit up. He asked his Mum if he could go out to play. Mum said he could as long as he didn’t get into any mischief and with that the four of them set off marching down the road.

Simon spotted Sally sitting by the pond.

‘Look’ he said ‘There’s Sally. Can she be part of the plan?’

What?’ said the other boys all together. ‘But she’s a girl!’

‘I know’ said Simon ‘but the other day I dared her to pick a bunch of stinging nettles and eat the leaves, and she did! That’s a pretty brave thing for a girl to do’.

The other three went into a huddle. After a lot of nodding and shaking of heads, James told Simon that provided she behaved like one of them she could join in. Simon went over to Sally and whispered in her ear. Sally suddenly started skipping around and making girly squeaking noises.

‘I think we made have made the wrong decision’ said James ‘but it’s too late now'. Come along guys’ he called and they all started marching in the direction of Farmer Jacobs' barn.

‘Right’ shouted James ‘you all know what we have to do. Off you go and we’ll meet up at the swings in one hour’s time’

‘But how will we know when the hour is up?’ said Rupert ‘I haven’t got a watch.

‘Nor have I protested Sally’
‘Duh’ bellowed James. ‘What do you think that is up there on the church tower? It’s a clock Dumbos. We meet at a quarter past three. That’s when the big hand points to.................’

‘We know’ the others shouted. We are not
that stupid.

‘Is that when the little hand points to six?’ chuckled a sarcastic Tommy.
At ten minutes past three James took his position sitting on the gate by the swings. One by one Tommy, Simon, Rupert and Sally returned.

‘Sally’ sighed James ‘what’s
that for?

‘Simon told me to borrow the farmer’s barrow from the barn’

‘No I didn’t’ cried Simon ‘I told you to borrow the farmers hat from the barn’ That’s what Rupert told me’
‘I said what?’ laughed Rupert. ‘I didn’t say that. I told you we were to get the hat from the farmer’s scarecrow!’ He popped a straw hat on his head.

‘What are you talking about Rupert? asked Tommy. ‘The plan was to ......’

‘Stop and be quiet all of you’ yelled an angry James. ‘You’ve all ruined my plan. All I wanted you to do was to...’

But he stopped short when he spotted a red faced and very cross looking Farmer Jacobs running towards then waving a rake in the air.
‘Run guys’ shouted James and they all scurried off in the direction of the village.

I suppose we’ll never know what James’ plan was. Have you got any ideas? Whatever it was I bet it was a good one!


Saturday, 27 December 2008

the man in the moon

Little Tyler was staring out of his bedroom window. The sky was clear and the moon was huge.

He leaned his head on one side and then the other. He squinted and wrinkled his nose.

His sister Kate crept up behind him ‘Boo’ she shouted and Tyler almost jumped out of his skin!

‘What are you looking at Tyler?’ she asked.

‘The moon’ said Tyler’ I’m trying to see the man in the moon’

Kate giggled. ‘Don’t be silly Tyler, there’s no man in the moon. There can’t be because the moon is made of cheese’

‘Perhaps he likes cheese’ said Tyler.

Mum walked into the room. ‘Hi you two, what are you looking at?’

‘We are looking at the moon’ said Kate

‘The moon’s a balloon’ said Mum with a silly grin on her face ‘A big round yellow balloon’

They all looked at each other and laughed

‘Tyler believes a man lives in the moon’ chuckled Kate

‘Kate believes the moon is made of cheese’ laughed Kate ‘It’s not a balloon Mum!’

‘I’ll tell you what I believe’ said Mum ‘I believe its way past your bedtime!’

Kate went back to her room and opened the curtains just a little so she could just see the moon from her bed. She felt sure she saw a little mouse nibbling away at the surface.

Tyler took one last look before he jumped into bed and waved to the man in the moon - and I believe the man in the moon winked back.

Thursday, 27 November 2008

My zoo

If I was a frog
I’d sit on a log
and stick out my tongue
and catch flies

If I was a worm
I’d wriggle and turn
and dig a deep hole
where I’d hide

If I was a bee
I’d buzz round a tree
and dive into flowers
to make honey

If I was a mouse
I’d live in your house
and eat all your cheese
and your bread

If I was a snail
I’d leave a white trail
and sleep in a shell
on my back

If I was a child
I’d live in the wild
if my mum and my dad
said I could

Then what I’d do
is start my own zoo
with the ants and the slugs
and bugs too

Monday, 14 July 2008

Freddie and the Frog

Little Freddy was on his hands and knees staring into a pond watching the little fishes staring back at him.

“Ribbit – hello – ribbit” a strange voice said! Freddy shot up and looked around.

“Who’s there?” he said rather nervously

“Ribbit – me- ribbit” the voice said.

”Don’t be silly” said Freddy “no one’s called Ribbit. I call my friend Rabbit because he has big ears, but you are not him. And where are you anyway?”

“Ribbit – over here- ribbit”

Then Freddy’s eyes popped out like gobstoppers! He realised that a big green slimy frog sitting on a lily pad was talking to him.

“Ya–ya-you can’t-t-t-t-talk – you are a f-f-f-frog” stammered Freddy. “Frogs only cr-cr-croak”

“Ribbit – yes I can - ribbit”

“Wait ‘til my friends see you!” shouted Freddy “I’m taking you home. You are going to be my pet and all my friends will be jealous”

“Ribbit – you’ll have to catch me first – ribbit”

And with that the frog leapt into the air and landed on the far side of the pond. Freddy rushed around the pond but tripped on a stone and landed on his bottom in the shallow smelly stinky water at the edge!

“Ribbit – you can’t catch me – ribbit” laughed the frog!

And then he jumped in the air and landed on a mound of grass in the field.

Freddy got up, slithered a couple of times, and then ran into the field toward the frog. A cow was chewing something or other, then sort of smiled as Freddy slipped again, and landed with his face in a pile of cow poo!

“Oh horrid” cried Freddy as he wiped the brown muck of his cheeks and rubbed his eyes.” I’m going to catch you – you see”

“Ribbit – come and get me then – ribbit”

And the frog went hop hop hop towards the hedge.

Suddenly Freddy tripped over a fallen branch and landed flat on an ant hill. The busy ants stopped working and started to creep and crawl up Freddy’s legs. Up jumped Freddy and he spun round and round around brushing his legs and sweeping the ants away before they could start nibbling at his knees and things!

“Go away – get off- stop tickling” he screamed. “Okay Mister Frog” he shouted “I’m coming after you and you won’t get away”.

“Ribbit – bye bye – ribbit” said the frog and he jumped clean over the prickly hedge and out of site.

Freddy was a bit upset. He was wet, smelt horrible and had itchy little bites on his legs. He slouched home with his hands in his pockets feeling very sorry for himself. He pushed open the gate to his garden and wandered up the path towards the kitchen door.

“Ribbit – ribbit – ribbit”

Freddy looked around then caught site of big green slimy frog sitting in a puddle on the lawn.
“There you are” shouted Freddy. “I suppose you think that was funny”

“Ribbit – ribbit – ribbit”

“Speak to me frog – I know you can”

Well, Freddy’s mother heard him and she came rushing out. She was so shocked at the state of him that she gasped and put her hand over her mouth. She walked over to him then had to pinch her nose when she smelt him!

“What happened to you, and who are you talking to?” she asked.

“That frog!!” shouted Freddy pointing with his grubby finger. “It can talk!!”

“Don’t be silly “smiled his mother. “Now go in, and get those filthy clothes off”


“No buts Freddy, go indoors now. NOW”

Freddy went in, and his mother looked at the frog and smiled.

“Ribbit – ribbit – ribbit” croaked the frog. Then he winked, waved one little green leg then flew over the fence and hopped away!