once upon a time

Nellie and Ned were doing their maths homework. It was very boring.

‘Why is ten scared of seven?’ asked Ned.

‘I don’t know’ said Nellie.

‘Because seven ate nine, and ten is next!’

Nellie didn’t laugh.

‘That’s not very funny’ she said.

‘Why?’ asked Ned.

‘Because they shouldn’t eat each other of course’.

They went back to their homework.

‘What about this’ said Ned. ‘If I’m holding  six oranges with my left hand and five apples with my right hand, and I drop one apple and two oranges, what do I have?’

‘Very big hands!’ laughed Nellie.

‘That wasn’t supposed to be a joke’ said Ned, ‘It’s here in our homework, look’.

‘Oh, right’ said Nellie.

‘Ned, why isn’t your nose twelve inches long?’

‘Where’s that question?’ asked Ned looking at his homework book.

‘It’s a riddle silly!’  said Nellie.

‘Oh, because erm…..because I don’t tell lies?’

‘No’

‘What then?’

‘Because it would be a foot’ giggled Nellie.

Ned didn’t laugh. ‘I don’t get it’.

‘A foot!’ she shouted pointing to his shoe and then his ruler.

Daddy walked into the room. ‘If there were four pizzas, one big bowl of chips, three vanilla ice creams and one chocolate ice cream, two cokes and bottle of wine, what would we have?

‘I know’ shouted Nellie, ‘Twelve!’

‘No’ said Daddy. ‘Supper! Now hurry up and finish your homework,  Mummy and I are  starving!’